Just before dawn I set up turkey hunting against a very large white oak tree with a large hole at the base just inches from my right elbow. After waiting a few minutes I saw pink breaking the skyline so I did a few soft purrs and clucks. Instantly I heard feathers ruffle and leaves being moved just yards behind me. I knew a big old tom had flown down somehow and was right on top of me. So I froze like a statue for the next 10 minutes but didn't hear anything else.. Thinking the bird had slipped off on me,I again did a little purr and cluck. Only a little louder this time. I immediately heard wings and feathers flapping around alittle and the russel of leave. I froze again. That gobbler must be just on the other side of the tree some where I thought.. After another 10 minutes of setting frozen I saw something bright red right beside me out of the corner of my right eye. I just knew without a shadow of a doubt that the gobbler had snuck in on me and was but inches away! Thoughts started running through my mind. Do I let him walkover top of me and see if I can get a shot after he passes by? Or do I try to swing around to get a shot? So I finally started to turn my head very very slowly until I found myself nose to beak with a large turkey buzzard. His head and neck was the only thing sticking out of the hole. We locked eyes and I could tell he was thinking the same thing I was." WTF? How did this happen?" But after several moments we agreed not to harm each other. I slowly turned my head forward and he pulled his head back in. Slowly I stood up and walked away 30-40yrds. and he emerged from the large hole. We both looked at each other and I thanked him telepathically for not taking off my face or puking on me. He seemed to acknowledge me by starting to preen his feathers.. #2 Would be I was learning to fly fish down on the James River near the Pony Pasture. There were 30-60 people just down river swimming and hanging out. When a freak of nature happened and I hooked myself in the back with a very large bass popper. What was a man to do?? I couldn't reach it to get it out so I just cut the line and kept fishing. Stung alittle but not anything I couldn't take. Then I noticed that a bunch of the people were watching me and a few laughing. Then one lady walked over and asked if I needed help. They could all see the popper in my back and my white t-shirt was covered with blood. When I told her no I was o.k. She said that I must really like fishing. Lol

I was in a lock-on stand about 12 feet off the ground hunting a fire lane that cut through a thicket. I heard movement so i got ready. 2 women on horseback came down the trail at a walk .I simply waved so I wouldn't startle the horses.. The animals saw me and snorted.. But the women never did and the conversation I overheard was about window curtains.

It was 20 years ago, too politically incorrect to post, and you kinda had to be there....

But I still double over laughing every time I think of it.

My two sons were hunting close to each other during bow season. I was a little farther away. My younger son called me and I thought something was wrong. So I answered. He was spitting and giggling and I couldn't hardly make out what he was saying. Come to find out my older boy was up in his tree and had to poop. Diarrhea had snuck up on him. He started down the tree, and you know how your butt checks kinda separate when you are climbing down tree steps? Well he had crapped his britches!!! To make matters worse, it ran down his leg and filled his boots. I'm laughing writing this. He stripped down to his birthday suit in the woods and preceded to clean himself off. He ended up burying the "dirty" clothes right there in the woods. After he got semi cleaned up he had climbed back up in his tree and continued to hunt. hahahahaha My younger son was telling me this on the phone in between all his laughs and snorts and by that time I was belly laughing in my tree. None of us saw any deer that day, but it was one to truly remember.

It was 1980 something and I was maybe 15 years old... myself and a hunting buddy (also 15) had stands set up on different parts of a hayfield. It was still early when I noticed the farmer let his cattle into the field to pasture. The field was pretty large so I wasn't too concerned about the cattle messing up the hunt. But my buddy was set up on a small island of trees in the middle of the field and of course the cattle congregated all around him... well my buddy decided that enough was enough and decided he was going to move to a different stand. I see him crawl out of the tree, start walking across the field, the cows start to follow and then my buddy must have got spooked because he took off running. Well this wasn't the smartest thing to do because the cattle started to chase... oh, and these cows were not de-horned which only added to the excitement. Well my buddy must have determined that he wasn't going to outrun the cows so he jumped into the tall hay to hide. Wrong, he was almost trampled and at least one cow went right over the top of him. I'm ashamed to say that I was not concerned about my friends safety, largely because I almost fell out of my tree laughing and witnessing this all... and the best part of all is after the hunt when I met up with my buddy, his exact words to me were "Did you see those F-ing bulls chase me across the field and almost gore me"... yep he thought those cows with horns were all bulls. Still doesn't explain why he thought he could outrun them or hide in the hay though. I will never forget that hunt and still brings tears to my eyes.

some years back i took the neighbor kid turkey hunting. I set him down on a fallen log by a cedar tree and called. soon he had

This was kinda funny to my Dad: I was 7 and we were out bird hunting. He had a side by side 16 ga. LeFevre, and we were sitting on a log. He looked up and saw a crow flying around, and told me to see if I could hit it. I was happy to comply. Me, being of sound logic, and with 2 years experience shooting a bb gun with the trigger toward the rear of the trigger guard, I figured this gun was no different, you pull the rear trigger first, instead of the front one. So I sit back and aim at 12 o'clock crow, and squeeze. Blam! 2x the noise! Wham, back to earth on my shoulders I go like a 7 yo pinned by Andre the Giant! Dad failed to inform me that if you pull the rear trigger first, both barrels go off at the same time! Wow, he got a chuckle out of that, and I just asked if I got the crow. Wasn't really funny, but I can't think of anything funny that happened while I was hunting. I can fishing though.

two toms directly behind him about 6 feet away, gobbling for all they were worth. Too close for me to take a shot. He sat there with his eyes closed and face in agony and said, "go away go away."

This year when I got out of my stand my buddy and his wife came to stand they were hunting in the back. As I climbed down I lowered my bow on string and started to climb down and as I was didn't my pants fall down to my ankles. LOL

He says to me WTF Glenn are you flashing my wife Glenn. I said yeah kiss my butt. We all were red and had a good laugh. I had to wait till I climbed all the way down to pull up my pants.

She was in an uproar said she never seen that before only you Glenn could pull a stunt like that. LOL

I didn't really think it was so funny could have gotten hurt ya know too.LOL

I was walking along a two-track high in the mountains of Montanaw when I met a sheep...a big beautiful ram that some sheepherder was missing.

we both paused and the sheep looked at me and I at him. he acted like he was lost and he wanted to come with me. I hadn't seen the sheepherder in the area for at least a week.

I wanted to help the ol boy -- I was thinking about putting him in my truck and driving him around the area to see if we could find his flock.

but, I decided I didn't want to be seen driving around in the woods with a sheep in my truck.

we went our separate ways but I am sure he was some critter's dinner not long afterward.

A group of hunting buddies had a deer drive and one scored on a doe. He had his new son in law along and after field dressing the doe his son in law offered to carry the doe out to the truck. We lifted the doe up on his shoulders and somehow the boys head ended up inside the does cavity. We were laughing so hard we couldn't get the doe off his head. When we finally did he just said "man it's ugly in there".

Was out one morning with my then girlfriend, sat a while and she started getting tired so we went walking down an old logging road. As luck would have it we bumped a turkey, and being the young buck I was I was going to nail that bird. The turkey hadn't flown but did go over a little rise so I took the chance and ran to the top of the rise seeing the bird ten yards away and moving, I began my aim and stopping all at once. Unfortunately for me my feet on the wet leaves did not stop at all. They went out in front of me and wound up pointing straight into the wild blue younder. The lovely lady with me began to howl, a laugh like no other, heck we both laughed till we cried.

Funny, maybe. Embarrassing, definitely. I was bowhunting at Aberdeen Proving Grounds and was standing on an access trail and had to take a whiz. As I was in the process another hunter was walking up the trail and got fairly close as I finished. When they were very close I about died. It was a good friend of mine's MOTHER!!!!!. She hunted and was in full camo with face paint and was a good one hour away from where they lived.

THESE ARE FUNNY! MORE PLEASE! Batman

More of an animal sighting than a hunting story, but here it is.

I used to be in technical sales for a chemical company, and covered paper mills in New England (mostly Maine). My boss, the district manager, would travel with me a couple times/year. He was the best boss I ever had. He expected nothing less than your very best efforts. He was a great motivator. He was the most positive boss and person you'd ever meet. I had tremendous admiration for him. Top fight guy. Honest to the end. Real life man of deep faith. Mr integrity. Great boss.

He loved to bird hunt. He was a true sportsman, and loved the outdoors. We'd spend some of the "windshield time," talking about hunting, guns and fishing. We got along great personally and professionally.

We were visiting a million $/year customer in northern Maine (now defunct Katahdin Paper, formerly Great Northern Paper), in Millinocket, Maine and driving to East Millinocket paper mill (seven miles away) for another customer meeting.

This is prime moose country. My boss, Jim, lived in North Carolina, and has never seen a moose in the wild. He wanted to see one.

We drove past a bog, and Jim shouts out, "Look, a moose!". I pull the car over and stoppef. About 100 yards out, you can see the dark outline of the sighting. My boss, "Mr.eternally positive guy" is just blown away by the majestic form. He says, "man, that is one beautiful animal. So big. So at peace in this beautiful bog. So regal. Man, you are so lucky to see this kind of wildlife on a routine basis. Life is great, isn't it?"

I was looking hard at his moose sighting. It just didn't look right. I grabbed a small pair of binocs from the glove box and gave it to Jim for a look. Again he is blown away. "Man, that is a beautiful moose...."

I tell him to hold on a second. I back the car slowly back about 25 yards, then another 25_30 yards ( getting closer). I ask for the binocs to take a look. Jim gives the binocs to me, and I scan the moose.

I hand the binocs to Jim, and I tell him, " Jim, that's not a moose. It's a big tree stump on its side."

Jim, grabs the binocs from me so he can see it from this new angle.

"Mr always positive" starts laughing while glassing the "moose", and says, "Man, that is one good looking tree stump. So majestic. So at peace in the bog...."

We laughed about that sighting for years. How can you not love to work for a guy like that. That was one of life's special moments for me. Just a good, simple shared laugh. We need more of them.

I really missed Jim when he retired. He was the one who recommended me to senior management to fill his position when he retired. I thought the world of Jim.

Shamelessly and legally hunting over a corn pile as a kid I watched a squirrel defend his ground against a deer by leaping forward and latching onto the deers face for at least two good head thrashes. No lie, you dont have to believe it but its true and I will never forget it. That squirrel was out for blood.

O.K. I have two- Lacking the discretion or decorum of GF I will share this- Twenty years ago, I visited my parents in Northern Wi where they had just purchased a home in the woods with 18 acres of river frontage. I scouted an area on a bluff overlooking the river with a heavy deer trail below where they crossed. I knew I was in a hot spot and damn if I didn't see some action. Yeah, about a half hour before dusk several deer start across the river. As they work closer, I hear a vehicle. Behind me a truck and small car drive in on a logging road. I am up in my tree, and these two lovers engage in various sundry behaviors against the side of the truck!! I was uncomfortable and felt like a voyeur...ooh well. They left and I figured they were probably married but not to each other. Another time I belonged to a pheasant club. Leased several farms. Hundred birds got released and we went off in packs with dogs to shoot em up. Well, we were in the middle of a high grassy field, dogs were hot, several roosters got up, and man we unloaded. Thing was were were walking parallel to a tree line. In a tree was a bowhunter. The birds got up between us and him. He later said I saw it happening and didn't alert you guys- it was my fault. He put his arm over his face, and took a hell of a lot of #6 shot. That boy was a stinging.

I could probably write a book about trapping and coonhunting adventures.

When I was a teen my best friend and I trapped together. Every morning we'd hit the bfields, woods and creeks about 3:30 AM to run our trapline.

We shared the same math class. Our math teacher loved our story's so much She would start out the class by saying..."OK I want to hear about the adventures of Jeff and Steve"...lol "What did you boys get into this morning"!

Anyway As far as Bowhunting I was like 13 and overbowed with a 45lb recurve. I was standing between the 3 trunks of an oak tree. Group of deer came in behind me, I was twisted around trying to shoot behind me ,missed, regrouped , missed again, missed again ect..ect...The whole ordeal of buck fever, straining to pull my bow, and slowly nocking another arrow while they bobbed and snorted, and trying my best to get off another shot before they totally spooked.

Anyway..I got to feeling real dizzy and sat down and put my knees up and hung my head between them on the verge of fainting. One old doe that still hadn't spooked came high stepping around me, stomping her foot and bobbing her head, walked right up close and stood there snorting, bobbing and stomping.

I just lifted my head up, looked at her, muttered ..."Oh Lord" and put my head back down.

lol... I imagine I looked white as a ghost and mighty sickly.

I have a ton but this one sticks out. Guy in our camp killed a decent 8 pt one morning. We were skinning it back at camp and he cut the deers nuts off. He went to sling them out thru the woods and a limb about 6 ft from him caught the strand that hangs when you do that procedure. They wrapped around that limb and headed straight back for the guy. They wrapped right around his neck just like somebody put them there with their hands. There were 3 of us helping but nobody was standing up after that. We all fell out. lol

I saw a doe kick a Buck in the face :-) I guess she was saying no. JF

I was sitting near a bunch of hickory trees watching squirrels cut nuts and waiting on one to stop where I could get a good shot. I heard something come crashing through the trees above and land with a thud. I turned around and this great big coon had fallen out of a tree and crashed to the ground. He slowly got up and appeared to look around as though to see if anyone was watching and assumed a posture and ambled away as if to say "I'm cool, everything is OK, didn't hurt a bit, that's just the way I roll" I bet it did hurt though. He didn't appear to be motorin too well and he also seemed to be grimacing a little as he walked/hobbled away.

I'm chuckling as I type this. I don't know how he fell out, but it sure was funny. Thanks for the memory prod.

My dad was quite the deer hunter.but a turkey hunter he was not.me a buddy and my dad went turkey hunting one morning and we all decided to split up and hunt seperatly.as the morning progressed me and my buddy met up and started to ease our way toward the direction that my dad had went.as we walked we started hearing what sounded like a hen turkey being strangled to death.you never heard such screeching and squaling in your life.we knew in an instant it was dad but we had never heard him sound this bad before.but we did know now why there was no sign of turkeys in the county.when we came up on dad he had a big smile on his face like he was the best turkey caller of all times.dad always used a box call so my buddy says Roy you sound like you could use some chalk on your call.dad says no its fine I couldn't find my chalk this morning so I put some Johnsons baby powder on it before we left this morning.we laughed till we cried .me and my buddy anyway.dad couldn't figure out what was so funny.dads been gone for 12 years now and I miss him alot but it's memories like that hunt that brings him back.

I used to carry a 6 volt lantern and I hung it under my tree stand while hunting. Every deer that came down the trail saw me from a long way off and then bolted back the way they came. When I climbed down I found the lantern was on the red blinking mode all morning. I guess I hit the button by mistake.

When I was a little 8 yearold kid we were on a deer drive. My father's farm foreman took me so I could see what it was all about. Mason, the foreman, had me sit by a tree while he took a crap in an old abandoned cellar hole. One of the drivers jumped a bunch of deer and they came flying towards us. One jumped into the cellar hole where Mason was relieving himself. All hell broke loose with Mason emptying his gun. He never touched the deer, fell back into his pile of crap, and came out of that cellar hole pretty subdued, with his pants down, and boy did he stink.He never lived that down. He said he was squatting when the deer knocked him over backwards, and that deer bounced around that cellar hole like a rabbit and jumped right out.

My younger Brother was carrying his insulated coveralls all rolled up and tied with a bootlace into the woods so he wouldn't get overheated. He walked a good ways, then climbed probably the steepest ridge on the place. He finally topped out, so he opened his folding stool at his make-shift ground blind and sat down. He placed his coveralls on the ground beside him, and watched as they missed every tree, sapling, and large root and rolled all the way to the bottom, where they fell into a ditch filled with nice, cold water.

Murray

About ten years ago I got about 50 yds. Into the woods and spotted a bowhunter waving to me. Standing beside him was a mature doe. After taking a double take I noticed a pink collar on the doe. I walked up to them and petted the deer. What a strange feeling petting a deer in full camo and holding a longbow! We talked and he left. I decided to go to my tree stand and of course the doe followed me and bedded under my stand. After about an hour I could not take it any more and started throwing items from my Catquiver and she finally moved on .i was the Fire Chief in our Twp. At the time and relayed the story at training that night and was asked what drugs I was on? Luckily one of local PD was there and later that night he spotted the doe and confirmed my story and I saved face.

My brother and I were sitting against a tree turkey hunting. I gave out a call and heard AAAUUUGGGAAA down in the lower timber. We both looked at each other with puzzled looks. I call again... same thing AAAUUUGGGAAA. My brother says I think your calling in a model T. Every time I call same thing only its getting closer. This pathetic old Tom took about 20 minutes to come in. I was laughing so hard I could barely call with my mouth call. When the bird came in sight I had to bury my face in my coat and fight off the laughter and bouncing shoulders. I was so relived when he finally shot. Bird looked healthy and don't have a clue what happened to its gobble.

Gotta have some MORE! I need a laugh! Batman

A guy I hunted with was wearing hooded coveralls when nature called. He slid those coveralls down and squatted. When done he stood up and when he flipped the hood of his coveralls back over his head, all the "contents" that he did not know was there went all over his head. Gross, but funny.

More a can't believe what I saw story. Sitting in a huge pine on the edge of an old cemetery. I watch a doe and fawn feeding for about 15 minutes. A cotton tailed rabbit comes hopping into the area. The fawn sees it and is curious. It slowly walks over to the bunny and just like in Bambi, the bunny goes up on it's hind legs and they were nose to nose.

A buddy of mine was in a treestand right on the edge of his dad's farm which bordered a county park. A couple comes walking down one of the trails in the park and is going to pass within twenty yards of my buddy. He hears the young good looking gal say, "I gotta pee." The guy keeps walking as a gentleman should. She scurries off the trail to the fence, less than ten feet from my buddy. He's in the tree above her. She drops her jeans & squats & starts taking care of business. My buddy says "TINKLE, TINKLE." She screams, looses her balance and sits in the damp grass. She regains her composure, jumps up and runs off holding her jeans up with one hand!

I was a student at the Univ of Wis. One of my professors wanted to go bowhunting. I loaned him some tackle and taught him how to shoot. We practiced for 2 months & he felt ready. Saturday a.m. in the dark we walk into the woods and I put him in a stick & log & leaf blind I'd built. He's sitting on a stump in the dark waiting for daylight, hands in his pockets. I walk 100 yards to another blind I'd built. Then I hear the most God awful snorting & wheezing & coughing & choking & sneezing & clearing of the throat,...real loud and persistant, for 5 - 10 minutes. It's still dark, eventually daylight comes. A few hours later I walk back over to Frank & ask about all the commotion I heard. He explains, "Well, I was sitting there waiting for daylight with my hands in my pockets. My nasal spray was in my left pocket and my buck sent was in my right pocket. In the dark I got 'em mixed up and took a blast of buck scent up my right nostril!"

He should've let her finish. Especially if it turned out she was cycling at the right time.

That'd have Tink's beat by a MILE!

4 Years ago I had leased 800 acres in Ohio. The property was over 2000 acres and my 800 was on one side of the road and the other acrossed the road by the farmers house. I was struggling seeing deer so I asked the farmer if I could hunt behind his house eve though it was not part of the lease. He had a neighbor who lived a small piece(maybe 2 acres) he had sold him years ago. I set up around noon ad put a decoy out in a huge cut corn field. Well the neighbor came home from work and it was getting dark and he saw the decoy out there about 500 yards. He thought it was a big buck so he proceeded to belly crawl through that muddy corn field to get a shot at the giant buck. I never saw him until he stood up at about 30 yards and drew on my decoy.(by this time it was very low light. Whe i shouted he about passed out. I climbed down ad went over and he was covered in about 2"s of mud, head to toe. I laughed like hell for about two days. He himself did not find it funny, but I still do too this day! Shawn

Saw a squirrel fall out of a tree once. He hit the ground, rolled around and then sat up with a "What the ****???" look on his face.

Another time I was watching 2 does and 2 fawns in a pasture that had a 3 board fence with hot wires on the top and bottom. Something alerted the does so they jumped over the top. The fawns tried to follow by going under the bottom board but every time they tried they got shocked and then they'd buck and kick and shake their heads! FUNNY.

But the absolute most hilarious thing I ever saw was while duck hunting once. We were hunting a small pond that was frozen over. We punched a small hole in it and then got a couple of buckets of water and poured it on top of part of it to make it look like it had an open spot. Not too long after some mallards came in and tried to land on it like it was open water.....CRASH AND BURN!!! It looked like a bunch of drunks!

Many years ago, fourteen year old son loved to squirrel hunt with me. We had 12ga. shotguns with #6's for early season. We reached a hillside with oaks that had produced squirrels in the past, so, I positioned him in a spot, and moved myself across the hillside another sixty yards. There wasn't much movement, then suddenly I heard him shoot once. I waited another twenty minutes then went to rejoin him and see what he got. He proceeded to tell me that he shot from the hip and got a squirrel that was running along a downed branch, maybe twelve feet from the gun. When I asked him what was left, because it was so close, he said not a thing. I began to wonder what he meant and searched the branch. I could see the shot pattern, and it looked to me that his shot was low, but to this day his insistence that he "vaporized" the squirrel is funny to me, only me, he hates this story.

I happened across some bipeds procreating once. I tried not to notice but did walk into a few small trees while leaving.

I used to body boot for waterfowl on the Susquehanna Flats area of MD where you wore a diver's dry suit and hid behind a big plywood goose jammed into the mud and you could submerge to your neck in cold water and not get wet or cold. We were hunting out of my boat one day and we didn't wear our diving suits but had chest waders on. I decided to wade out in the decoys to get a picture of the rig from water level. I forgot I didn't have the diving suit on and went down to my neck and the waders filled up instantly with ice cold water. My buddy in the boat almost died laughing.

Had a spike buck walk under once and stumbled his nose hit the ground, when he sttod up he look around as if to see if anybody saw.jw

TMI, but here goes. Some years ago after spending about three hours bowhunting in our tree stands on a cold, wet miserable morning, my buddy and I met back at my SUV. Our clothes were soaked and we were both shivering and frozen. The morning had started out in a thick fog; hoarfrost covered everything. At dawn it had begun to rain, which turned into sleet, which turned into a heavy wet snow. We both had seen deer, but neither of us had taken a shot. In the truck I turned up the heater full blast and we both shucked our clothing and draped it over the rear seat backrests, except for our boxers, which we held over the heater vents. No, we had no other clothes with us, and there we sat, naked as jaybirds drying our clothes. Totally ridiculous situation! Ted finally broke the silence when he said, “If that farmer comes along, you do the talking, because there’s no way in hell I can explain this!”

Well, this happened a long time ago, there were four of us hog hunting we had gone our separate ways, wasn't much going on except I heard one coming toward me.

now let me pause and tell what weapons we had..... Tom had his 30/30, Bill had his 7.62 MM British Enfield, Danny had his 30/06 and I had my 10 gauge long barrel goose gun.

Back to the story, the hog was coming toward me because these three guys were tracking it from different angles and forcing it toward me, the hog came into a clearing and paused, well I drew a bead on it and fired along with three other weapons at pretty close to the same time. Obviously the hog didn't run off, it scared the creeping crud out of everyone of us, we could have shot each other.....the rules were never back track on an animal so you wouldn't walk up on each other, well someone wasn't following the rules. The reason I mentioned the weapons is that the hog was pretty well torn up.... we laughed about it for many years.

Years before elk calling videos became standard fare, my dad and I were hunting elk. A closed road splint and I went high and he went low. About 1/2 mile along, I heard my dad bugle down below me, and it was bad noise. He kept at it, and I thought I really need to tell him he would be better off not calling. Later we meet up, and I told him he really need to lay off the elk calling. He said "I never called", but I heard you. I said I never called, either. Turns out it was a real elk between us that didn't sound too good.

I was 16 and hunting with my buddy in State land. We didn't know any better so we each picked our hunting spots right off a hiking trail about 200 yrs apart with a rise between us. It was late fall and we had the area to ourselves...or so I thought. About 2 hrs after sunrise an elder couple hiked past me (didnt see me) and up over the rise they went towards my buddy. It wasn't 60 sec later they half ran half walked past me with disgusted looks on their faces. When I met up with my buddy later that morning I asked if he had seen the couple hiking. He said "no but I need the camp shovel to bury the huge "number 2" I took on the trail. Apparently the couple had seen my buddy in action without him knowing it. We still laugh about that every hunting season.

A suicidal grouse flew into my hands.

DDave

I have another and it is documented on film. I used to put on a huge Traditional Bunny Hunt to raise money for St Judes Childrens Hospital. We has as many as 100 folks hunting bunnies at one time. One year Bill Langer and his crew came and decided to film the hunt.(he got some excellent footage by the way)Well we had just finished the kids hunt and we were heading down back to start the main hunt. Remember we had a 100 people and we were in a line that stretched well over a quarter mile. We were doing a push called the "Old Road" and had not really even started when someone shouts BUNNY!!!!. Well the poor thing cut back through this long line and one of the would be pushers caught it under his foot. It was all on camera. You could hear people making jokes like don't move we will just aim for the head and don't worry I we wont shoot your foot off!! Well we decide the bunny deserves to live and he lifts his foot to let it go. It just crouched there quivering until one of the kids said hey get out of here your free and we all watched it run off into the next county. People were amazed and we laughed til we cried. We actually got 8 of the 12 kills on film that day!! Pretty cool plus another funny story I will tell later! Shawn

About 20 years or so ago, I called my father from work while I was at lunch to see how he had fared deer hunting. He said, "I got one but it was too small so I threw it back." Seems he had gone below the house about a 1/4 mile and sat down against a tree. Along came a little button buck. Dad watched as it crossed downwind. When it smelled him, it turned and trailed him up. Dad just watched without moving to see how close it would get. The little buck laid down by him and began chewing on his rifle sling.

At that point Dad figured he might as well go to the house so he gets up, looks at the deer and says "Come on." It followed him all the way home and came inside. It finally wandered off (Ma didn't allow it inside her house for long!).

Come to find out, it had been raised by some other neighbors a mile or so off. They had named it Coondog and the neighbor used to take it bowhunting with him and use it as a decoy. It finally left them for good later that winter.

Maybe not funniest but what pops into mind after a day at work. Hunting Wenaha in Oregon back in the days. Down Little Looking Glass and it was mid day. I shot a grouse and stopped to photo and dress the bird . Put my camera and the bird into my day pack. Was walking along and not thinking(don't get paid to think when having fun.) Something felt odd. Like I was off balance. Well, I was because my bow was laying back about a mile by the little pile of feathers and skin. Did not find the bow right off neither. It was a compound bow though.

I was gutting a small eight point and I apparently didn't cut around the butt hole good enough and when I went to pull it through it hung up and my hand slid down to the bladder and pop. Directly in my face, all that were there thought it was real funny

Keep them coming, they are very entertaining

I got something.

While hunting turkeys my buddy Tye and I set up on opposite ends of a meadow we've hunted for a few years. We got set up an began calling we heard toms gobbling from behind me on my side of the meadow. I could tell they were getting closer and closer. I was against a small drop in the ground,with a screen set up in front of me. Tye was in a blind on the other side of the meadow about 50 yards away. As the birds approached I could tell there were several. Soon they all lined up on the cut directly behind me ,like one foot gobbling every time Tye called so close the vibration of there gobbles could be felt on my back. 8 big toms total that I could not get a shot at. Tye said it would have been the funniest video ever if we only hat filmed it. But hey that's why we do it ,it's always an adventure.

Bman this one is for you. Another friend of mine Dennis, were hunting turkeys,I stepped out of the blind to walk around and call to imitate a hen moving around. This took some time to do ,as the area was on a hilltop and I wanted to throw the call to all the little valleys and canyons by us. When I got back I gust settled in by a tree and continued to call. I had captured the attention of a tom and I could tell he was on his way. Unknown to me Dennis had fallen asleep during this ordeal. When the bird showed up it stoped by the decoy ,which was by the blind and gobbled. He was so loud that it startled Dennis awake and he kicked the blind completely off of himself all I could do was laugh it was great makes me chuckle whenever I think about it.

I was squirrel hunting in Pa., when I heard a shot about 100 yards up the pipe line. I was going that direction, and approached another hunter poking at a stump with a stick. I walked up to him, he said there was a wounded squirrel inside the rotted stump. I put on my leather gloves, reached in and grabbed the squirrel. As I pulled it out, he was biting at my fingers. So, I threw the squirrel to the ground about one foot from the guy's feet. He quickley fired at the squirrel only about a foot in front of the end of the barrell. Of course the squirrel was blasted to shreds. The guy calmly said to me, " You can have the squirrel", and he turned and walked away, never looking back. This wasn't real funny, but then again it is real funny.

Back in the mid 70's, an acquaintance of mine was hunting whitetails from a fairly large oak limb. A six point was approaching him and he figured just let it get close. It did. When it walked under the limb he was standing on, he put his arrow dead center in the limb. Didn't get another shot.

I friend of mine and I hunted the same property one year. He followed me to my tree then went off on his own. A little later I saw him crossing a fence and going up a tree on the other side. I got down and walked over to him n told him he couldn't hunt there. It was off our hunting property and on a farm that did NOT allow hunting. He told me he was staying put, but promised not to shoot anything on the farmers property and that he couldn't find another tree in that spot that was big enough. Well pretty soon here came the farmer. They talked for a couple minutes and the farmer left back the way he had come. That night I ask Ray what the farmer had said. Ray told me the farmer ask him if he could read. Ray(by his own words) in his best West Va backwoods accent said Yes sir. The farmer said , well didn't you see the signs. Ray told him that he had seen it and he wasn't smoking and promosed not to. He said the farmer chuckled and said, alright son you can hunt tonight but before you come back you stop by the house and get legal permission. Ray thanked him and the guy left. Btw, ray is a city boy and has been in Ohio most of his life. He has no accent,lol.

We had a huge rat in our old deer camp. We would hit the sack and a few minutes later we would hear him running around in the kitchen. We set out a trap and the next night Pow !! Then rat and trap took off across the floor. We couldn't believe it. Next week we got another trap but this time we anchored it to the table with a small chain and a screw. After we all went to bed once again Pow !! Gotcha this time. Then we heard rat trap and chain take off across the floor. We were astonished. The next weekend one guy stayed up to see what would happen. Lights went out and in a few minutes here came the rat. He had made a couple of rings a bracelet and a necklace out of our trap and chain. Looked like a little and T. Just kidding on that part. Lol. Guy waited up for the rat but didn't tell us he had a 22 pistol. Rat came out and ran across the table and he emptied his 22 pistol at it. Shot 10 holes in the camp wall. Needless to say his membership was revoked. Lol

Should have been Mr T. Lol. Fat fingers.

These are Hilarious! More please!

In Newfy I was fishing the Barachois River. I flicked a white Wulff upstream from a rocky ledge and let it drift by. I was fishing with my 3-4 seven foot ultralight flyrod. I watched a huge Atlantic rise from the bottom and attack my fly. I remember yelling to my brother "I am screwed" as the salmon went about 5 feet in the air and headed for the ocean. He took all my flyline as I sprinted along the river trying to keep up with him. Within a hundred yards or so he had all my line, almost all my backing, and that flyrod was just about bent double. I was able to get my nippers on the backing and cut it just before the backing ended. I lost all my backing and line but saved the rod. I will never use an ultralight on a salmon river again. Brooks yes, rivers, no.

Not necessarily funny but unique all 3 involved birds. #1 bow hunting sneaking down a flooded creek bottom a flock of teal jumped up and a perigiun falcon nocked one Out the sky.#2 while in a tree stand bow hunting a squirl at about 20 yards fliped out while looking around trying to see what spooked the squir my eyes met with a bald eagle that had landed 3' from me and i never heard it scared the heck out of both us. #3 in the mountain deer huntin had a chipmunk sittin on a stump barking at me for about 10 minutes just about the time i was thinking to myself that chipmunk had better move on a red tailed hawk flew right past me and snatched him up nature can be brutal...

On one of our Traditional bunny hunts, Bill Langer was filming and we call this story the "Don't shoot me!!!" incidence. As noted in my earlier story we had about 100 guys hunting and we had just come to the circular field push. We were getting ready when out comes a rabbit, it runs up over a hill and right at Bill who was filming the whole thing. As it is nearing him at least 6 or 8 guys started to draw their bows. Bill hollers at the Top of his lungs in his best panicked voice "DON'T SHOOT ME!!!" He screamed it several times!! No one would have but the shear panic in his voice was funny. After over 450 shots being taken that day, no one surprised he would yell!! If I knew how to post a video I would try and post these. Shawn

As a teen I loved to hunt. My dad wasn't a hunter. There were running jack rabbits he shot with a .22 on the farm as a kid, but that's where it ended for him. I loved to hunt tho. And as a kid secretly I may have felt a tad slighted that my buddies dads were into it and mine wasn't. Well eventually after much hinting, pleading, and out right begging I coaxed my old man into tagging along on a day long pheasant hunt. It was a pretty decent day too, a farmer even let us use his dog... a rare luxury in that day. Nevertheless by mid afternoon we were fairly close to limiting out and my pa hadn't so much as drawn a bead on a bird. So late that afternoon my buddy and I were stomping out a thick strip of shoulder high cover and weeds with our fathers posted up on the high ground in a sure-fire concerted effort to make my dad take a shot. About halfway through a rooster flushed out ahead of us making a low and fast beeline toward you-know-who. Well we started hollering, and sure enough, Just as that bird hit 12:00 straight above my dad he nuked that poor rooster with a full choke...probably not 20' over his head either! Feathers lingered in the air, as the mangled mass fell to earth only to indignantly impale itself on a cornstalk... just before the farmer's hard mouthed dog had his way with what was left. Seriously, I think we were only able to salvage a single drumstick from that thing-- but no matter, my dad was (and still is) the best, most successful pheasant hunter I ever met!

Hunting over a food plot in a shooting house with my dad and brother. My dad doesn't think farts are funny and my brother has a "gift" of being able to fart at will. When brother would get bored he would fart, I'd suppress my laughter while my dad shook his head, then as soon as I calmed down he'd fart again.

Having spotted endless flocks of mallards winging over us, my brother-in-law and I decided to pack a sack of decoys across a sea of sagebrush and greasewood the next morning hoping to find where the duck flights had originated. Finally we came upon a series of shallow ponds from artesian wells, tossed out the dekes and hid in some tall brush. Pretty soon another hunter came sneaking in from the opposite side and stood at the edge of the pond, surveying the scene and our decoys. Wearing a red plaid hunting coat, he made no attempt to hide.

Spotting a small flock of approaching greenheads, I gave a series of highballs and our decoy-poaching guest dove into a patch of the spiny greasewood! The ducks flared but in a few minutes the hunter stood up and craned his head to the skies searching for others. Again I tooted my call loudly, and to our amusement Elmer Fudd once again dove for cover, only to re-emerge in short order. This comedy repeated itself several more times as my b-i-l and I chuckled to ourselves. Eventually the duckless hunter trundled off in the direction from where he came.

Checking some maps later, we discovered we had inadvertently stumbled into an exclusive duck hunting lease that Colorado Parks and Wildlife eventually acquired as a waterfowl management area.

Ok, guess you had to be there!

I know that no one really reads othe people's posts on thing like this so I will relate a story that is SO SOT FUNNY IN ANYWAY. I was hunting some rocking country in west central Wisconsin. I was glassing from a moraine like cliff into woods down below. There was a crevice that i could go p and down by putting my feet against one side and my back against the other to get up and down. I saw a nice buck about 250 away and down. I put on a very careful stalk. When I got to where I expected to see the buck, he was gone. I stould up tall to look around and BOOM the buck jumped up and took off. he had lain down in a hollow out of my line of sight. A bit upset I took a short cut across some marshy stuff to get back to that crevice and got into a struggle with the weeds and mud. That is what I get for being in a hurry, but I had my reasons, I had to poop. I was not going to make it and with limited resource, I was going to make due with my pocket pack of wet ones. Well, everything came out in the end, but when looked up, there were two women on that cliff looking straight down at me. Not knowing what to do I raced towards the crevice heard screams and when I got back up to the top, they were gone.

Hunting the Corbett GMA in West Palm Beach, FL circa 1987 where a bud from our Archery club offered for me and the son of a Gal I was dating back then to stay in his 25' trailer if we'd help him set it up at the campsite all our oter club members were staying at...hunted Saturday..(opening day)...and then morning hunt Sunday?...turned into Sunday afternoon...the rest of us already had our stands pulled and?...where's Mark?

We figured he was tracking a deer but by 2 O'clock we just started to head out on what we thought was going to be a search & rescue mission and here he comes up the dirt road...sweaty...beat up...and looking like a dog that hadn't seen a bowl of water in 3 days as when we asked what happened and why he didn't have either his stand or a deer with him?...his exasperated, chubby, camo'ed out self fell to the ground to rest a second...so he could compose himself enough to speak where he then told us...

"My stand is still out there and anyone with balls big enough to want to go get it?...IT'S ALL YOURS!"

Apparently?...(as he told it)...when the sun started to rise?...he looked down from his ladder stand and it appeared that the ground was moving...and as the sun rose higher?...he realized it was all snakes...Moccasins to be specific...where they had all balled up right there under his stand (apparently for warmth at night) and then dispersed as the sun rose.

And Mark here?...was left scared chitless stuck up in his own stand where he finally felt like 8 hours was long enough that they all might have gone away! LOL!

And then?...he took the long way home jumping from 1/2 way out of the back of his stand! LOL!

The kid and I grabbed a machete and went and fetched his stand for him. :)

The only funny story I have outside of that?...20 years ago I was down in a bottom in Alabama sitting in a rickety old 2X4/plywood ladder stand...gun season..9pt steps out 100yds away...initially I was concerned about taking the shot for fear of loosing him as it was real thick in all directions from there but?...he presented that picture perfect broadside shot and I took it.

Upon the hit...he reared up on his hind legs...cut a 90deg right and ran like he11 for about 99yds where he slid into home and took his last 3 breaths 1yd away from the base of my stand! :)

YOu could tell that this bothered me by the number typos.

Dean, getting caught pooping is a huge fear of mine, I go for deep cover when I need to go in the woods. Along the same lines as your story, I was heading to the local BLM a few years ago, crested a small hill and came upon a black king cab truck parked, and a woman was squatted alongside it. I stopped, she finished and stood up and pants herself as I turned around and went to another spot. I never saw that truck again.

Here's a fishing story but too funny not to share. We had been camped out on a sandbar on the MS river in August in MS so needless to say it was so hot the devil wouldnt come out to say hey. We had been there a couple days and we needed a bath to say the least. It was my dad and me and one of his buddies. We decided to get a bath in the river. Worked out great for everyone but my poor ole dad. The cool water and cold sand on the bottom felt great. Problem was there happened to be a few fresh water shrimp we didnt know about. I was back at the tent fixing to hit the sack when dad started screaming. I ran down to the water to check on him and he was trying to get out of the water but could barely walk. Turned out one of those shrimp had latched on to his scrotum. Guess he was trying to investigate the new toy he had found.

I guess that time can be of the essence when NATURE CALLS?? Might not leave You much choice on where or when. Back to the top! Batman

I was after a particular buck a few years ago, who had a scrape line along a long, narrow strip of woods with a meadow to the north and a really gnarly swamp on the south. This strip ran fairly straight for about 3/4 mile, and ran from about 50 to 100 yards wide.

I was in a tree stand on the west end on a bluebird early november saturday morning...no wind, brilliant sunrise, not a cloud in sight, and about 25º. The meadow was about 30 yards to my left and the swamp the same on my right...I was facing the rising sun.

About an hour after good light, I kept hearing something way out front, gradually getting closer. Finally I could hear two distinct voices...one near the meadow, and the other along the swamp border...to my right.

The "swamp voice" sounded like an older gent, and the other was a kid. In typical kid fashion, he would answer anything "grampa" said with, "What?".

As they came in sight I recognized em as partridge hunters, moving towards me totally unaware of my presence...with a COSTANT...mumble..mumble...WHAT?...mumble..mumble....

It dawned on me...what if they flushed a bird? Towards me? Shooting UP?!?!

So, the kid was only about 15 yards to my left...unaware that I was above him. Gramps was behind him and well off to my right...maybe 60 yards away, when he flushed a bird...oh crap!!!

I dropped my head and turned turtle...and after a goodly hesitation the older fella touched off two shots...fortunately, the partridge flushed out behind him leaving me unscathed.

The kid hollered out, "Did you get him?" Gramps; "No...I'm having trouble with this safety."

I knew what was coming next, and looked at the kid...he didn't disappoint; "WHAT?"

To which I answered, "HE SAID HE'S HAVING TROUBLE WITH THE SAFETY!!!"

Gotta say, that kid damn near levitated! After he landed he looked up at me and hauled @$$ to the older fella, where I could hear, "Grampa...grampa...there's some guy up in a tree over there!" Gramps calmly said, "Oh...that's a bowhunter...c'mon...lets leave him alone.

They had as much right to be there as I, didn't know I was there, and moved along to let me continue on with my day. I'd of liked to meet em to tell the truth...seemed like a cool hunt for grampa with the young un.

But man, was that funny! Been telling that story for about 30 years...

My buddy pat and I were buck hunting on a draw hunt eather sex ,not to common in California, and Pat decided to put out a line for some catfish,as we boated in to our campsite. Anyway at 3:00 am the bell went off on his poll and the next thing I knew he was realing in a 20 plus pound catfish yelling whose your daddy in his underwear.

These are super, keep them coming!

A few years ago I was scouting a new Wildlife Management area. At the time I had an old VW pickup sat pretty low to the ground. Anyway I pulled over on a logging road and was studying a topo map when a turkey stuck his head in the window right between my face and the map. Scared the crap out of me.

When I was a teenager the only bowhunter I knew was my neighbor Geeno. He was about 45 years old 6'0 260 and hunted from a tree limb with a Bear Kodiak. That was pretty typical in those days- seems nobody used a dependable tree stand. Well, Geeno liked his martinis. So he stopped for lunch up north, had a few drinks, went to the woods, climbed his tree and took his perch. Then he fell asleep, fell out of the tree and broke both his wrists. A few days later my dad saw him outside the house with plaster casts to the elbow both arms. My dad says, Geno, your wife must really love you. Geno: Whattaya mean? My dad- Well somebody's wiping your a** everymorning...Geno just turned and headed into the house, head down.

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